i remember the smell right outside the door of mat's colonial apartment.

i remember the hospital.

i remember walking alone and listening to my own breathing in the dead of night.

i remember the soft and shushed shedding of winter layers while standing in the warm prov wash elevator.

i remember my cold face and the wet melting snowflakes in my scratchy scarf.

i remember kissing James in the pounding rain like we were in the movies.