i remember late night piano duets in the upper met, philosophical musings, and doing laundry together.

i remember brief hyper activity on the steps and then sitting in your room, slightly nervous, suddenly very aware of it being just the two of us. there was also that poster of the two hot chicks making out on the wall right behind us.

i remember swapping CD mixes (it all started with David Crowder), pasta telefono at paragon, talking about designing away messages, flying kites but not really being that into it, and trips to ny expecting something more but not quite sure what.

i remember persistent invitations, a coffee rendez-vous at the Biltmore, and your Wolverine-esque hairline.

i remember sitting side by side during lectures and wondering if you could hear my heart pulsating. you gave me such a rush.

i remember long silences, cloud shadows, having a tough time picking mountains or the sea, and you telling me you wished i was with you on ponte vecchio.

i remember too much attraction, happening much too fast.

hmm... let's see.

i remember late night walks to 711 and vassily being all wacky.

i remember that food truck on the few nights i went out to pop! best food ever.

i remember encountering a fat, homeless dude masturbating under the bridge one day when i was walking to the mall. he begged me to suck his dick. i ran away, fuming.

i remember walking in a snow storm to see the last samurai with adam chang.

i remember the first snow freshman year. nick mahshie ran outside and danced in it. it was magical.

i remember carrying heavyass pieces of wood from the wood shop to studio to make our sled. miyoung dropped the wood on her foot. owie.

i remember alonso's eyebrows. they looked like birds ready to fly away.

i remember walking up angell hill backwards after class just so i could watch the sun set.

i remember visiting risd for the first time as a high schooler and passing by the risd beach. there was a huge boxer dog standing on the lawn, barking at traffic.

i remember the girls that worked at amy's place. they always looked like they had rolled out of bed but they were so darn cute!

I remember walking down the alley way where The Pit used to be; where they made amazing grilled cheese and tomato sandwiches, and shaved philly cheesesteak.

I remember the black tar goo that would spittle from some ventilation hole.

I remember that vague sense of dilemma about trying to choose a place to eat on campus depending on where you were and how much work you had to get done.

I remember the bright glow of Portfolio Cafe and all those fucking semicolons on the wall.

I remember the melted chocolate chips sticking to warm crinkled aluminum foil wrapped around giant malleable cookies from the Carr Haus.

I remember being cold and not caring.

I remember the last day of freshman year at the quad. Morolake and I ate pop tarts and watched some movie in the Nickerson basement. It was late May and 55 degrees outside.

I remember ordering pizza and watching movies on the projector on the 7th floor.

I remember getting to studio early in the morning before anybody else and having the whole place to myself. I would drink coffee, eat a scone and stare out the window for two hours before getting anything done.

I remember walking down the stairs from the 9th floor with Mairead after class once. She was a few steps above me and she seemed extra tall. Her shoe slipped and she almost fell down the stairs but caught herself. I think her shoe heel broke.

I remember not eating on-campus and going to Thayer Street. It felt like stepping out in to the real world.

i remember 44 hidden with the sorority across the street and the techno thumping neighbors downstairs. I remember throwing anything disposable and unwanted in my room with Vanessa at them from our darkened window. Townies are weeod.

i remember when someone special peed themself a little when getting high and laughing. PRICELESS memory!

i remember making Chris wake up and throw up a little in his mouth one morning when i was hungover.

i remember flying a kite along the river.

i remember not having enough money...still don't.

i remember learning how to juggle in the RISD Library.

i remember this nasty guy who worked near the RISD campus coming into the old library in the college bldg and sitting at one of the computers in the magazine room looking at porn and spitting and cursing at the screen while he masturbated.

holy shit - i remember my freshman year going to starbucks on thayer st. with natalie zanecchia to study art history...and this old homeless woman was sitting on the couch pretending to sleep with her coat on top of her and masturbating...and dipping her fingers in a cup of water she got for free as lubrication.

i think that takes the cake, signing off there.

i remember talking politics with caroline and nishita. if it weren't for them, i would've probably had no clue as to what was going on in the world.

i remember nishita's music: the velvet underground, the strokes, grand master flash, blur, bob marley and dylan, outkast, and old school mariah carey. i remember and miss her open spirit. i remember but don't miss her steady stream of questions and listening to her yell at top volume on the phone with her parents in the mornings. worst mornings ever.

i remember trying to learn how to fly a kite at india point park. i didn't do very well.

i remember my first date ever. it was at paragon and we ran into some people we knew. it was awkward. i was tired and feeling gross because i hadn't showered that morning. he was older. i didn't realize it was a date until i was in heidi's room later, telling her about my evening and she yelled, "LIZ! that was a date!"

i have probably already written this but i remember and miss coffee exchange's iced chai. i also remember and miss amy's peanut butter smoothies. they're better than they sound.

i remember miyoung's drawings of nate.

I remember going on that first run in a long time and coming back home only wanting to run even more.

I remember running by the Brown sports complex surrounded by cops and black cars when Bill Clinton came to visit Brown University. I stopped and asked the cops what was going on, pretending I didn't know.

I remember grocery shopping at Stop n Shop at 3AM with Sandy and recognizing random people there, like the pizza dudes at Antonio's and other familiar everyday people. It was like having a dream with arbitrary characters in it. Except grocery shopping.

I remember spending so much time in 15 West, but not living there.

I remember all the furniture and perfectly good stuff kids would leave behind in 15 West.

I remember one of the cashier ladies at Portfolio Café. She always called me "Larry." Twerp.

I remember there was something about the new Fleet Library that always made me want to fall asleep.

I remember looking at a lot of attractive people wherever I went. It was nice.

I remember drinking at night and wanting the rush of inevitable lust.

I remember getting angry at myself whenever I got so high that I lost my train of thought in the middle of speaking a sentence.

I remember getting drunk and then eating terrible food.

I remember freedom.

I remember awkward senior class meetings, and all of a sudden it's high school again.

I remember Bridgid Mason. Yow oww.

i remember the smell of the brick, and the weight of the humidity on my skin, the smell of smoke in the doorway, the musk of things unpacked from summer storage, the rain.

i remember that hungry excitement when sitting down at kabob and curry, i remember the chutneys, i remember the nan, i remember the basmati rice, and the tandoori chicken, and the stain it left on LA's fingers.

i remember when Sandy accidentally ate marzipan cheese at the candy store that opened up on thayer when we were sophomores, and i remember the way she looked as she gagged but swallowed it down anyway.

i remember the swing-set behind hope high on a warm september night, i remember swinging and praying and feeling as lonely as i do now.

i remember the smell of the hardwood floor in my room at 44 hidden. i remember the green walls and the texture of them. that room felt like the first space i actually owned.

i remember feeling delirious with an empty stomach, aching from staying up all night over and over.

i remember how dry, tight, and swollen my hands felt after nights of sanding and finishing furniture. i remember being sore.

i remember camp berea.

i remember feeling young and alive and excited just because i was taking the trolley through the tunnel.

i remember walking illegally through that tunnel with a boy.

i remember doing other illegal things.

we remember, to re-member, to come back together again. we re-unite through our memories of a place, of a time, of moments that distinguished our character.
this place has changed. but this cross-section of nostalgia of what it was to us is preserved through our many narratives we share to flesh out this place in the past.
i still look back, and sometimes i start to choke up because i miss every beautiful and ugly, joyful and painful moment that occurred...and the privilege to share it with you all.

2009 approached. I wish you all a productive, creative, healthy and peaceful year. time is short, seize the day.

i remember being obsessed with seeing the graphic design in everything.
i remember being better at identifying typefaces.
i remember living, breathing, dreaming, and thinking creativity all the time.
i remember reading great books on subway rides home while interning in NYC.
i remember doubting what i believed in but wanting hang on.
i remember hating myself sometimes.

i remember less as each day passes. the curse of memory.

i remember spring break senior year...going to Block Island with the kids in painting. the group of kids that i wanted to be apart of but found difficult to penetrate, difficult to build. i was an outsider.
we grilled burgers, fish and vegetables as the sunset and the weather grew colder. we drank every moment. we walked to a shore below some bluffs and lounged in the after-morning drizzle and sunshine growing stronger from the dissipating clouds. we laid in the sand and napped, we ran with the rhythm of the waves with our pale feet submerged in the freezing water. we tripped on shrooms and saw nature around us enhanced. we climbed the bluffs that were made up of dried and dead brush and branches. i got lost in some thick of it, just where it got steep, and heard an animal breathing rapidly and furiously at me for disturbing its home - i started to freak out because i didn't know what kind of animal and where it was or how to get out of that spot without sinking below it or falling off.
i remember sleeping with another girl when i shouldn't have and how that morning felt so grand. i was young and wayward...
i remember guilt and apologies.
i remember my self consciousness.
i remember sitting along the river with LA talking it out, smoking camel turkish silvers.
i remember camels.

i remember citizen's bank, the green glow on red bricks.

i remember the smell of store 24.

i remember the cool of night after a hot sticky day of moving boxes into james' basement.

i remember sun and moon kimchi stew.

i remember CAV and thinking it was a good date place.

i remember when they first opened jimmy johns and i ate those sandwiches four days in a row until i realized all the flavor was coming from the mayo.

i remember el forno's meat trio with stone ground mustard and being blown away.

i remember the satisfaction of gulping newcastle after swallowing down those colonial nachos.

i remember cafe choklad's amazing breakfast sandwiches: thick black forest ham, over easy egg, swiss, on thick toasted slices of brioche.

i remember walks down benefit street on cold, grey, rainy days. the houses were the only spots of color it seemed.

i remember shore's liquors and the fireplace that was always going after it changed owners.

i remember lights out, standing in the kitchen, and staring out the skylight.

i remember how the setting sun would blaze a fiery mix of red, orange, gold, and purple into my bedroom, turning my white bedding into fire.

i remember being late, rushing in just in time for communion, that soft sweet portugese bread, that strong wine.

i remember early morning prayer at manning chapel. there was always someone else there chanting the entire time. it sounded strings being plucked but it was his voice.

i remember walks on blackstone: cool air, a sense of being away from everything, and always wanting to go to the ice cream place at the end of the trail.

i remember hurrying to get waffles with strawberry compote at the met.

i remember electroflo in the garages and the hip hop showdown at the met with ezra. i feel like the risd sponsored parties were cooler as a freshman. rose tinted glasses maybe.

i remember standing in line at carr haus.

i remember ruth's huge drawing of Jesus carrying her hanging up at carr haus. i admired her. i also felt challenged.

i remember the beautiful calendar i got from my friend dan: 12 paintings representing 12 miracles of Christ. it remained one of my favorite things for a long time.

i remember when i accidently placed a sticker on the april in the calendar, then ripping it off in haste. i thought, "oh fuck. why did i just do that? it was my favorite month too."

I remember the first break during morning classes and how everyone would flood into the Watermark or RISD store for a coffee or the breakfast they didn't get to eat before class.

i remember when everything felt like beginnings.

i remember the smell right outside the door of mat's colonial apartment.

i remember the hospital.

i remember walking alone and listening to my own breathing in the dead of night.

i remember the soft and shushed shedding of winter layers while standing in the warm prov wash elevator.

i remember my cold face and the wet melting snowflakes in my scratchy scarf.

i remember kissing James in the pounding rain like we were in the movies.

i remember the smell and sound of leaves falling all around me on Prospect St.

i remember shower drawings.

i remember work rooms and spray booths.

i remember that hot guy in furniture holding the door open for me as i ran up the stairs to 2-d class. what was his name again?

i remember bridges and the perverts under them.

i remember that giant bug on the highway.

i remember the providence city scape changing very quickly during the year i was away.

i remember a stack of watermelons in front of the museum.

i remember public safety.

i remember art sales.

i remember coffee exchange chai teas.

i remember those flashing lights from those giant towers on the river.

i remember finding malcolm grear's studio on a run.

I remember the blizzard of 05 and being snowed in during wintersession at 44 Hidden street. Sandy and I painted on a big sheet of some of Shara's extra MDF board.

I remember Chris being asleep for pretty much half of his life at 44 Hidden.

I remember listening to Mirah's "La Familia" and trying to understand how sex played into relationships, love and friends.

I remember when facebook first came out. I made an account to make fun of John. Then people started friending me and I got annoyed but didn't have the heart to "reject" them.

I remember spam fried rice.

I remember the squirrels scurrying in the ceiling at 44 Hidden. One day one of them came in through the hole in the ceiling in the kitchen. Vanessa was flipping out and shrieking hysterically, afraid it would bite her and maybe it had rabies.

I remember Gary our landlord. He talked so fast, no one could understand what he said.

I remember Will Reeves.

I remember seeing pretty girls in the street and not knowing how to talk to them.

I remember every time before opening the door to step out into the cold, holding my breath just a little.

I remember parties at the carriage house.

I remember the fries at the Red Fez.

I remember many late nights of playing FIFA with Nate and eating disgusting Domino's delivery.

I remember going over to Miyoung's at the end of a night of heavy drinking. We'd get McDonald's and fall asleep to Arrested Development. I'd wake up and stumble down Wickenden towards home like a mole out of his hole.

I remember the gigantic stick-shift U-Haul I drove at the end of freshman year. It was huge and scary to drive down hills. I thought I would destroy something. I remember stepping out of the truck at 55 Angell, my whole body shaking.

I remember getting used to the walk back to my room by myself from freshman studio classes, and the feeling settling in, "This is it. This is really it."